So many thoughts and no actions?

What is happening to me?. There is something that I have learnt all my life is when I feel something that bother me, take an action. But in this case, I have a so many feeling and thoughts that I have not done anything about it.

Hang on, I am writing right now. Ok it is something. I was determined to tell stories about pretty much anything that happen to me lately. Why is it?. Well, may be it is part of my new path of career or something and this is the action that I am taking right now.

I am sitting right now, in front of my work computer trying to think if there is something about my job that I haven’t done yet. anything outstanding?. I don’t think so.

However, I got something outstanding. ME!!. Yes me. Sometimes, I feel like a crazy because my heart pumps so hard when I feel anxiety, fear or happiness. At this stage, I feel anxiety of what’s going to happen to me and the world the next 5 or 10 or 15 years. Opposite of what I have learnt about “plan your future”. Well, I am still working on it. Some people might say, “Don’t be so hard yourself”. Or “think about the present, forget the future”. So, I may ask…HOW? How can I think about the present if I feel this anxiety now?. how can’t I be hard myself if I feel anxiety every time I heard about sick people or people dying for illness, car accidents, poverty, and conflicts between countries?. Also, my family, friends, stability, jobs.

Well, this is the way it is. It is part of life having these feelings of worry and disorientation. And I think this happens when you are happy but you know something would get wrong and someday you would do down. Oh my gosh, what a negative person I am. But the best part of all of these, is that after these thoughts, you realise that you are happy, you have a beautiful family, lovely children and a great job, and then, you say THANK YOU!!!. And if you don't have all of that, you would thanks to anything that you believe, because you are breathing right now.

THANK YOU!!!!.

Betsi